Guess what I just realized? I am turning 48 this year! While not exactly newsworthy, it is surprising to me! Yup. That's right. I actually thought, all this time, that I was still 46! 46! Where, oh where, did my last year go?
Here's how it happened....
I was checking in on facebook, as we are all known to do when we have other 'stuff' that needs to get done, and I scrolled upon a link on my cousin's page that Chinese New year is approaching. It's going to be the Year of the Horse! MY YEAR! But wait...that would mean my age is a multiple of 12. But I am only going to be 47, so how....oh no...can't be right. I whip out my trusty calculator (no, the real thing, not the one on my smartphone) and do the math...2014 minus 1966 (I do remember the year I was born!) and voila! 48! So....I guess the Chinese calendar is correct and I am indeed going to turn 48 this year.
But still...where did I put 47? What did I do with it? I do remember celebrating my birthday in 2013. I remember because it fell on a Tuesday. Tuesday is (was) my study day. The girls in the study group took me to lunch...and I made us all start with dessert! WHY? Because we should always start with dessert! (So maybe this is a subject for another post...starting with dessert is highly underdone and grossly misunderstood!). It's only because it was my birthday that we (I) got away with it!
I also remember that it was my first birthday with my one and only perfect daughter (okay...I know she's going to read this and roll her eyes when she gets to the "perfect daughter" part. Let me clear this up. I mean perfect in the sense that when she was born, we proclaimed how perfect she was...ten toes, ten fingers, all her organs intact, breathing, blue eyes, head of hair...that sort of thing...perfect!) away from home. I had just left her in Virginia to begin her freshman year of college.
I started my new "year" without my daughter. The house is a quieter cleaner place now. Did I lose 47 in the silence? Did I not have 'young blood' in the house to remind me of how old I was? Is this why I lost 47? When she came home for winter break and the Holidays I still don't remember my age coming up...so I guess I will just have to let go of 47. Just as I can never relive my 20's (not sure I want to either!), I will never get 47 back. It will remain the missing year! And since I still have half the year to enjoy it, I will choose to remain in 46 mode until my birthday! Why do something half way?!
Gosh I love you Ness!! I was so stumped myself over HOW IN THE HELL DID WE GET SO OLD SO FAST??? I am not depressed that I am 47, almost 48-nope, no way. I am not even depressed that every day I get out of bed I feel every minute of that 47....I am depressed that it happened sooooo verrrryyyy fast! Came and went....whoosh.....like you, I am not too sure I want to relive my 20's, but if I knew then what I know now, I would have enjoyed them much more so as to ensure when I did hit my 47th year and started over-analyzing myself, that I STILL wouldn't feel the burning yearning to relive my 20's-I would be satisfied I had lived those years as much as I could have!
ReplyDeleteAnyway...ramble, ramble, ramble...I loved this post in your blog-It sure makes me feel better about ~almost~ being half a century old!!