The burger wars are on! On one long city stretch of road in Elk Grove, California, I can eat at In and Out Burger, Five Guys Burger and Fries, The Habit, and Smash Burger. That's four - count them FOUR! - burger joints in a short amount of space. And we're not even going to count the "big" drive-through chains - ya know...arches and stars and crowns and all that! Everyone's got their faves, and I am slowly and painstakingly ferreting out mine. The "research" involved is brutal!
In the interest of fair comparisons, one must be meticulous in their menu choices. You can't honestly compare the bacon cheeseburger at one place to the bacon cheddar dog at another place, so it's burgers against burgers. The bun, cheese, and toppings can be altered slightly, but not drastically, as there are no options on some of these.
Fries are another matter. To keep it simple and fair, it's GOT to be potato against potato. Sweet potato fries are delicous, but not available everywhere. If you like ketchup, or ranch dressing, or BBQ sauce, to dip it in, fine. Just be consistent.
Decide what merits you are grading each meal on. Do you want a juicy burger? Does it have ooze scrumptious meat juice with every bite, or do you want a burger that holds its' shape without running down your arm? Should the bun be light and flaky, or dense? Seeds on the bun? How about a bun that doesn't get soggy half-way through and fall apart in your lap? Fries - skin on? Salted? So many individual choices - some easier to name than others (why do you think Umami is so popular?)!
Well...here are my results, thus far. I've been to three out of four recently, like within the last month, and I have a clear favorite. In and Out Burger wins for simplicity - sure there's a "secret" menu - but it's still burgers, burgers, or burgers. And fries and shakes and soda/tea/coffee. When you're hungry and indecisive, hit In and Out Burger. For taste - burgers and fries - it's all about Smash Burger for me. And since I am rarely accused of being indecisive, being able to choose from a myriad of toppings appeals to my creative spirit - right down to the bun and spreads!
They have created a few already-built burgers (and chicken sandwiches, too), but be brave and create your own. My latest creation there was a burger with fried onion strips, bleu cheese, mayo and Franks Red Hot Sauce on a spicy chipotle bun. OH. YUM. Before that, my burger had applewood smoked bacon and a fried egg, on a classic egg bun, of course. That's like breakfast and lunch in one easy to eat meal! Oh yeah...put some fries on that, and they stand in for home fries! They also offer "smash" fries - skinny-cut fries coated with olive oil, garlic, and rosemary. Double yum! Bonus points at Smash Burger, you can get the usual beverage options, soda, shakes, tea, etc., but you can also have beer! I do like a beer with my burger - don't you?
I hear raves about The Habit, and one day I will get there again (it's been three years since my last visit!). Until then - I'll be feeding my burger cravings at Smash Burger. Maybe one day, you'll walk in and gaze up at the menu and see one of my creations on the menu board. Maybe not. Probably not. But why eat one of mine when you can create your own? Besides - the only produce on my burger is onions and pickles, and they're usually fried!
Conduct your own highly-scientific burger comparison, and let me know who's on your leaderboard. Different burgers for different buds, I get that. But I'm still curious as to why you like yours better than mine!
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